“Laughter is the best medicine.” We all know this quote and probably believe in it to a certain extent. It’s a good one. Actually, I think it’s a great one. Just about any or all uncomfortable or stressful or taxing situations can be dissolved with somebody prompting a laugh. I wouldn’t recommend prompting that laugh at funerals, monasteries, or during Tiger’s backswing, but all in all, laughing is a good thing.

If you’re feeling down, laughing makes you feel better. If you’re feeling up, then it’s that much easier to laugh. We just have to be willing to find something funny in something to laugh at. Annie Fellows Johnston (whoever she was) once said that “men need laughter sometimes more than food.” Very good point Ms. Fellows Johnston, however, au contraire. This brings me to my next and main point.

I confidently submit, due to avid, extensive, and consistent research, that this quotation, or mantra if you will (or even if you won’t), shall be amended forevermore. Laughter is no longer the best medicine; it is ice cream.

Yes, at the bottom of all doctor prescription cards, it should read in bold letters: and be sure to consume daily, two scoops of your favorite ice cream to ensure the perfect balance of life that God has intended!

And don’t cheat! Imitations aren’t allowed. Popsicles are okay, but are not the real deal. And none of those knockoff overpriced French yogurts that catch your eye with pithy slogans like tastes just like ice cream but healthier! If you want to be happy and healthy, you’ve got to go for the real thing. No substitutes, preservatives or additives or alternatives. Ice cream, straight up.

If you’re having a bad day, I dare you to try a scoop of Crazy Cotton Candy. Or Moosetracks with chocolate syrup. Or a Mocha Mountain Coco Blast with sprinkles. See if you don’t immediately start feeling a little better. It’s simple the way it works. Kids are happy. Kids like ice cream. When adults eat ice cream, it makes us feel like kids again. And when we feel like kids again, we’re happy!

Come to think of it, I’ve never met anyone who doesn’t like ice cream. I know those who don’t like ice in their drinks and those who don’t care for cream in their coffee; but never one who says “I think I’ll pass on the scoop of butter pecan with extra whip cream.” I’d venture to bet that the next President of the United States could run on the campaign “I’m going to raise your taxes and slash your healthcare, but free ice cream for everyone!”

That candidate will win by a landslide.